When is the last time I cried?

When was the last time I cried?

It wasn’t when I was in sixth grade,
and I ripped the flesh from my knees
when I crashed my bike going downhill
on broken asphalt.
I cried after that.

It wasn’t junior year of high school
when I thought I knew heartbreak
long before I ever truly understood
what actual love was.
I didn’t think it possible, but I cried after that.

It wasn’t the day I was married,
nor the birth of my children
though I was moved to tears of joy,
and I thought nothing could make me cry again.
Like a bad habit I couldn’t kick,
I would cry after that.

Nor when I fell on a catwalk
and injured my back at a merciless company,
Who fired me to be rid
Of an injured man,
While the pain and degradation was unbearable…
No, I cried after this.

When Was the last time I cried?

It was today.

Today was the last time that I have cried,
when I was told my son’s highest potential
would be a Walmart greeter, or cart gatherer.
That he would be lucky to have a job
that almost everyone else is overqualified for.

Today, I wept.

In the quiet of my office,
in the darkest corner I could find,
I wept until my eyes were dry and burning,
my throat was hoarse from sobbing,
and my lungs felt like they were on fire.
Today, a father wept like a child,
and I do not think I will ever cry again…

Until tomorrow…

…and the days after…
when I wake up,
when I go about my day,
and when I drift off to sleep…
           …thinking only of today.